Tuesday, February 18, 2014

It's Been a While...

As the tittle would suggest, it has in fact been a while since I've been in a musical. The last musical I acted in was The Music Man, in 2010...and I had already been in that show, and played the same part. I am, without a doubt, feeling a bit rusty in the musical theatre department. I have been discovering (or perhaps confirming), as I get older and have worked professionally for a few years, that musicals are not exactly my strong suit; they are not where my self-confidences lies.

Having said that, I am not belittling myself, or downplaying my strengths. I feel I am a strong actor-I am a singer-I am an actor that sings. However, I simply feel I may not be a  musical theatre actor. I can do this. I am not without skill or intellect, but there are SO MANY others who shine in a musical; that excel and thrive. I need only look around our Rent rehearsal space to see more than a handful of them. 

That is not me. I feel, for lack of a better phrase, less-than in this capacity. I play my part the best I can-but can't help but feel like I'm flailing.  Where I feel at home, and strong, and confident, is on stage...in a straight play (no pun intended). I am most comfortable as a dramatic actor. I like those meaty roles that force me to look within and allow me to delve into one character. I have never been a "character" actor. I don't have much experience at all with those types of roles. So, I have found being in a musical again somewhat challenging.

Rent rehearsals have been a continual uphill climb for me. It feels like I may have indeed forgotten how to ride a bike. Deep down I know that I will pull through and I WILL perform to the best of my abilities...I just can't shake the feeling, those abilities may not be enough.

Oh well, I'll eat a doughnut...suck it up...keep on trying...and keep my chin up :-) I always tell my students to "fake it, til ya feel it." Perhaps it's time I follow my own advice? 

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