are you friggin' kidding me?

-----> -----> EXTRA - EXTRA - READ ALL ABOUT IT!!! OPENING NIGHT of RENT at NEW LINE THEATRE is SOLD OUT!!!<----- <-----

We just found out last night. Are you friggin' kidding me? Already, over 500 tickets have been reserved, and more than 200 people are so excited-interested-intrigued to see our musical that they bought bought out opening night, all in advance...wow! Thank You St. Louis!! Thank You for supporting fine arts, local theatre, local and emerging-working actors, and just thank you for braving the cold to come support us. THANK YOU!

We have sitzprobe for Act One tonight, and I am so looking forward to adding in that band! Justin has been an excellent pianist (like damn) and a great music director, but it's hard to rehearse a ROCK OPERA (and really feel it) with just a piano or a keyboard...ya know? Bring 'em on.

Since we began doing full runs, my confidence has grown, and I've started to have some fun with my individual roles. I'm keeping my finger's crossed, that this trend continues. I still may never know all the words to Christmas Bells, haha, but that remains to be seen. 
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

A funny thing happened...

It's true! 
A funny thing did happen since my last blog post. We started doing full runs, with limited stopping for notes. Somewhat magically, if not expectantly, Rent has started to feel like a play. I started to feel a small part of that play. It's a good thing. I'm starting to feel better. better is...better. yeah! I chose to forget that I look like Orca's obese godmother in the publicity shots, haha. I look cute in person dammit, and that's all that matters!!

It's Been a While...

As the tittle would suggest, it has in fact been a while since I've been in a musical. The last musical I acted in was The Music Man, in 2010...and I had already been in that show, and played the same part. I am, without a doubt, feeling a bit rusty in the musical theatre department. I have been discovering (or perhaps confirming), as I get older and have worked professionally for a few years, that musicals are not exactly my strong suit; they are not where my self-confidences lies.

Having said that, I am not belittling myself, or downplaying my strengths. I feel I am a strong actor-I am a singer-I am an actor that sings. However, I simply feel I may not be a  musical theatre actor. I can do this. I am not without skill or intellect, but there are SO MANY others who shine in a musical; that excel and thrive. I need only look around our Rent rehearsal space to see more than a handful of them. 

That is not me. I feel, for lack of a better phrase, less-than in this capacity. I play my part the best I can-but can't help but feel like I'm flailing.  Where I feel at home, and strong, and confident, is on stage...in a straight play (no pun intended). I am most comfortable as a dramatic actor. I like those meaty roles that force me to look within and allow me to delve into one character. I have never been a "character" actor. I don't have much experience at all with those types of roles. So, I have found being in a musical again somewhat challenging.

Rent rehearsals have been a continual uphill climb for me. It feels like I may have indeed forgotten how to ride a bike. Deep down I know that I will pull through and I WILL perform to the best of my abilities...I just can't shake the feeling, those abilities may not be enough.

Oh well, I'll eat a doughnut...suck it up...keep on trying...and keep my chin up :-) I always tell my students to "fake it, til ya feel it." Perhaps it's time I follow my own advice?